4 Tips to Help You Get "Unstuck" in Your (Work) Relationships

“Most of the things that stop us aren’t things that we can’t do, but things we refuse to learn.” 
― James Woosley, 
 
Are you feeling stuck?  In your organization, team, or even in your personal relationships?  Chances are the reason for this may be 1 or 2 “critical conversations” that you are not having or at the very least, not having well.  The truth is, dramatic improvements in organizational performance (and relationships) are possible when people learn the skills to master “high stakes” and “crucial” moments with conversation. 
 
If crucial conversations are the key, then why do we many times say nothing when we notice problems, indiscretions or even injustices?  Why don’t we step up and say the things we want or need to say?   
 
According to the authors of the book Crucial Conversations, a conversation is “crucial” when the stakes are high, opinions vary, and emotions are strong. Many people dread this kind of conversation because past experience has taught them that if they are emotional and honest, bad things are likely to happen. As a result, they choose to clam up rather than speak up.  Driven by the fear that it is politically unwise to disagree, they stuff their differing opinions and feelings.  When the culture is defined by this type of silence, employees become unmotivated, disengaged and disinterested in their job and workplace and may begin to look for work elsewhere.
 
When leaders are equipped with the skills to handle sensitive and difficult issues, the best ideas are surfaced, teams achieve total buy-in on decisions, working relationships are strengthened and best results are achieved.  The “elephants in the room” are confronted safely, carefully and respectfully.
 
Here are some quick tips for speaking your mind in a way that gets you heard, produces real results, and unlocks your future for success:

1. Reverse Your Thinking

   Think about the risks of not speaking up rather than the risks of speaking up.

2. Be in Charge of Your Emotions

Stick to the facts, and don’t ascribe motives to others! Try to separate the people from the

problem.

3. Help Others Feel Safe

It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it. Assure others of your positive intentions and your

respect for them. Intentionally build a foundation of trust in your relationships.

Invite dialogue

4. Create a safe environment

Confidently share your views, stick to the facts, and then invite differing opinions.